Deciding to leave

I always dreamed as a kid of traveling around the world. Going back as far as I could remember, that's one of the things I wanted to do. Could explain my love for Indiana jones. Guy got to be badass, see the world kill nazis, and get the world. Who could hate that? Right I know such a guy fantasy. But it seemed like such a life . Of course as you get older it gets a little tougher maybe you just get complacent. You start thinking about money and should you really do this? Is it the right time.?

And so here iam 29 and never have left the us and never seen a good chunk of the country. Oh yes I've been to Canada for the day twice. We could see it from my town growing up( just like Sarah plain and Russia). But of course most people now a days travel by plane. Your at the airport for three hours in the air from anywhere from 3-6 hours and boom here you are in California or Houston after a layover in Chicago. You don't end up experiencing the country like a person should.

Yes I know who the hell wants to experience Iowa or Delaware? Few people. Maybe national lampoons family vacation ruined the epic cross country family trip and most young people would rather go to cancun or Cabo for spring break than take a bus or a car and see Iowa or some weird county in Arkansas( hell I wish I had gone and partied with half naked women at 21). But it's something we should all do at some point.

So after a bunch of soul searching and deep thoughts near the Hudson River, I decided to move from NYC where I had lived my entire adult life and move to that soulless place called LA. Now yes iam doing what most people in LA hope to do which is break into the entertainment business ( here's hoping I play a dead body on NCIS). I know it's probably harder in LA than in NYC. But I thought what the hell, what's the worse that can happen? I move back to NYC and end up doing something with my life that doesn't involve wigs and dying in hilarious ways. So I said what the hell!

Now to say this was hard is a freaking understatement. You stay in one place for a long time, create a life for yourself and than decide ah let's start anew. It's really hard. But after talking to three people I went well shit lets do it.

So for the past three weeks I said my goodbyes, which all where painful, though saying goodbye to the best dog in the world was the worst. Got as much done as I could. The going away party was tough cause who knows when I'll see these people again . I mean will it be a month? Six months? A year? Who knows?

At my going away party I saw a lot of people I hadn't seen in a long time. Acting school friends, friends from various jobs, theater people, the crew from rodeo. They all came out which was amazing. I had never felt so much love from everyone. And they all seemed to think I was making the right decision, cause as I said might as well do it now before I get too old and end up regretting it.

It wasn't until the Sunday night before I was to leave that it all hit me. I kept on going back and fourth through every emotion you could think off. I had to keep myself from crying at the weirdest moments. I felt like I was on menopause. Letting go is hard and going forward is hard. But it's something that I had to do. But the journey out there would be something else.